Everything I know about caring for children I learned from Hospice

This doesn’t really have much to do with Charlotte, well it kind of does I guess.

My great uncle (I call him Uncle), who I am very close to, is passing away from cancer. We just found out he had cancer less than a week ago, and it had already spread. We were suspicious that he had a serious medical issue, but we had a difficult time getting good medical help (LONG LONG STORY).  Hospice is coming and helping us take care of him. Being pregnant, and about to hatch very soon, I just can’t help out as much with his care as I could with my Grandfather. It is a mixed set of emotions really; I am not really sure what to think. There is just so much happening at one time, life and death seem to collide almost in one event. It is rather strange. I only have a few weeks left in my pregnancy, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Uncle Wibby only has a few weeks (possibly months) left to live, and I am sad. I am counting down the days until my baby girl arrives, but at the same time, that pregnancy count down has now turned into a countdown of my remaining days with my Uncle. I try not to think of it that way, but like I said, it is just a hard pill to swallow and I am not sure how to “digest” it all.  Then I remind myself that I shouldn’t be sad. Uncle Wibby really misses his wife, his brothers, his mom and dad and the rest of the family that has passed before him. He has prayed for death for a number of years now and was even resentful to God for leaving him behind. He was the eldest and in the worst health, he didn’t understand why HE was STILL alive at 84. I could feel the skys part and the darkness of “death” pass as he told me that he confessed his sins and was right with the Lord. Being a private man, it took a lot for him to tell me that. From that moment on, it no longer felt dark and lonely in his house. I knew I was surrounded by thrilled loved ones who had previously passed on. The entire stress that loomed over their house like a dark cloud was lifted.  I shouldn’t be sad because Uncle Wibby is going to see and be with family that I miss, for that I am jealous. Death is not means to an end either; it is just another “stage” of life, just like birth. Tune  your “personal radio” over to your spiritual side and BAM, you are right there with your passed family and can follow their guidance and advice through life. At least that has worked well for me. I am never alone, my family is always with me and guiding me.

So while 2 life events are about to be very close together, I still couldn’t be more thrilled about meeting my baby girl. Even Uncle Wibby smiles when I walk in the door or anytime I talk about Charlotte.

Anyways, something a little less heavy….. So this is my 2^nd Hospice experience. So far, I like this company better than the company that served my Grandfather. I have also learned that not everyone’s passing is like my Grandfather. I loved my Granddaddy SOOOOOO much but to be honest, his care was the most stressful event in my life. He required CONSTANT care and supervision, and by constant I do mean that the man HONESTLY NEVER SLEPT…NEVER. I am not kidding, that was the roughest 2 mo. Of my life. Compared to adult caregiving, infant care is going to be a breeze. At least with a baby I can actually pick her up, unlike my Grandfather that nearly broke my back trying to lift him up. 2am phone calls to help maneuver him were routine. He was often agitated and for the last month or so, he wasn’t himself at all. Thus far (knock on wood) Uncle Wibby has been pretty easy going. He sleeps a lot, prefers to just lay in bed and doesn’t get nearly as agitated and is as easy going as a grump 84 year old man can be. Looking back on my experience with Granddaddy I wouldn’t trade it for the world, and just as with Uncle Wibby, there are actually some times that are just flat out funny. When you are faced with death, when it is looking at you in the face, what else can you do but laugh some times. Crying does no good and accomplishes nothing, then you are just sad. Granddaddy was one to make me laugh, sometimes unintentionally. Uncle Wibby is the same way. The things he says at times crack me up. The way he “sleeps” when he is wanting people to leave him alone for a while. The way he complains about his son, can be funny at times too, like an old married couple bickering about the air. Hahahah.

 I have learned a lot about end of life care and it is funny how a lot of that same care will be used at the beginning of life. Weird. My Hospice experiences have taught me so much and I am much better prepared “mom” for it. Hospice care has been my “mommy bootcamp” and I have learned so much about caring for others. I am so much more comfortable with this mom business because of my experiences with Hospice.

So, today was a good day…all in all. Uncle WIbby ate a bit of food without getting sick. He took his medications and treatments instead of refusing them, he rededicated his life, and in the process put a smile on our faces too. We cleared the air on a few “family business” matters and things are looking up as we stand by his side during this life change.

I have mentioned I have been uncomfortable lately

So……Last night was the first time that Charlotte’s movements had awoken me from sleep. It was about 4am, and she had the hiccups. How can something so small have the worlds most powerful hiccups?  I swear my entire body was shaking from HER hiccups! Even in my groggy state, I noticed that her hiccups were not where I had normally felt them before. I was used to her tiny hiccups being felt just above my pelvic bone (I am carrying her very low) but last night, her hiccups were on my right side. MY RIGHT SIDE, WHY ARE THEY THERE?!?!? I thought we were locked and loaded in the head down position and NOW, I am constantly changing sitting/laying positions to dodge her kicks to my hip bones. I am disappointed. I was hoping she was going to STAY head down and make life easy for Mommy. Who was I fooling, a girl, making up her mind and being easy going…. HA. It is getting a little late in the game to change the plans now. We have got to get moving into our starting position baby girl. Sideways in Mommy’s belly is not good preparation for “Labor” Day. Maybe she is trying to help me by pushing my hips even farther apart. hahaaha

-sigh- oh well. 

Mommy is not very comfortable with baby girl being in this sideways position….not at all. She is putting pressure on various bones and organs which is leading to some uncomfortable feelings and light cramping. She will stretch out and I can feel her head pushing against my right hip bone. She LOVES to do this too, and to be honest, while I love feeling her move, this is not the most easy feeling in the world, it is a very….strange feeling. Lying sideways, she feels SO much heavier than she did when she was head down. I feel like I am carrying around a 15lb bowling ball just above my pubic bone and between my hips. Because of this heavy sensation, I am walking even funnier than I did before, and the pressure on my lower back makes it feel weak in just a few steps.

Did I mention I was uncomfortable? Hahaha

Sleeping is pretty rough too. I can usually get in a few hours before getting up every hour to evacuate the bladder. I don’t seem to be having too much of an issue with lack of sleep, although I do get worn out quicker during the day, I think that is mostly just from the added stress on my entire body. My biggest issue is body pain when I wake up. This has to be what it feels like to be 80. My back, hands, legs, neck and feet all hurt, and I haven’t even gotten out of bed. Thank god for my Chiropractor because without him, I would have cried “UNCLE” weeks ago. Just stepping out of bed and putting both feet on the floor, cracks my back. I feel like I have been in a fight all night long. Then I worry that I might have hurt Charlotte in my sleep. I am not sure why I am so paranoid about this, but I am. EVERY morning I worry until I feel her first movement for the day. I have been known to pat and shake my belly, just to make sure she is still moving and alive. I don’t know what I could possibly do to hurt her in my sleep, but I get paranoid about it. The nightmares at night are really graphic and frightening too.

Man, I am uncomfortable. 

“PRACTICE YOUR KEGALS” really…. Are you serious? Like, I have to actually sit around and think, oh must be time to flex my “who ha” muscles.  This is a cute thing to do when you first find out you are pregnant, “Look I am preparing for the big day”, now it is a different story.  I no longer have to remind myself to “flex and hold”, baby girl does the reminding for me.  Isn’t that great?!?! “BLAM” kick to the bladder.  “HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT……., whew. Crisis averted”.  “BLAM” kicked again, “Eeeek hold it hold it hold it ……….whew, crisis averted”. This happens at least 50 times a day. Charlotte is QUITE the active little uterine ninja.

But for all this uncomfortableness, feeling ugly, body pain, cramping, I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world and would gladly endure it all over again for my darling little girl. These next few weeks are going to be the longest of my life. I cannot wait to hold my baby girl in my arms (and not share real estate in my belly hhahah) see her face, watch her breath, smile, look back at me, eat, and sleep. I get to hold her as she moves (without getting paranoid that she is going to punch THROUGH my belly). I get to see the look on my husband’s face as he holds his darling daughter, a little bitty life and soul that he and I created and I incubated. I can’t wait to hear him coo in her ear and smile in her face, bounce on his knee, and walk on top of his feet.  I have a new respect for expecting mothers, well all mothers really, and even mom’s that didn’t get to hold their darlings in their arms before they passed. Creating life is the most amazing miracle ever. Inside my belly is another living soul, and personality, and I already love her to pieces, forever, no matter what.

34 weeks and counting down!

I am sad that I haven’t posted anything sooner. Pregnancy waxes and wanes, on one hand time is flying by, on the other (when I am getting up 5 times a night to pee then expected to be bright eyed for work the next day) it creeps by at a snail’s pace. 

Case did a beautiful job painting and decorating Charlotte’s room! I was impressed with his mad skills. My only job has been curtains, which I cannot decide on. I have already purchased several packs of curtains only to return them because they are not the right “shade” of green. UGH……I shouldn’t have volunteered to do curtains; I should have left that up to Case too. He would have already done a better job than I could have done! 

My family shower was BEAUTIFUL! I had tons of food and everyone had a good time. There were so many compliments on how beautiful it was and how good the food was. Charlotte got so many nice prizes!  Momma and I have been having so much fun organizing all of the supplies. Little old ladies and the things they say are hilarious. Some of the old lady comments were the epitome of Southern charm and grace, other comments were very…… crazy old lady like. I was told that my little belly was just precious, followed by how much larger my butt was than my belly. Another lady, in an attempt to smooth things over commented that it wasn’t really my butt, that I was just “big all over”. Geez, thanks. Hey what do you do, the truth is I am pregnant and I am much larger than my former small self. It is what it is, and is a good incentive to lose any excess poundage before the next little one arrives. Actually the horrible pain in my feet from the pressure of the weight and relaxed ligaments is all the incentive I need to never be this big (even while pregnant) EVER again! It feels like I have worn high heels all day long! 

Bree hosted a shower for me as well, and it was also beautiful and the girls that attended had a nice Sunday afternoon. Good company, good food, good times. Again, I got lots of nice prizes and Momma and I spent that entire evening “nesting”. Her and I were like 2 little momma birds building up our nest getting ready for the new little tweetie birdies! 

Brooke and the ladies at DT are also hosting a shower for me this coming weekend and I am looking forward to spending some fun time with my dancing queens! It is fun times. 

Some days I feel great and have plenty of energy, other days I feel pretty run down and tired. I started to slowly slow down starting about week 30. It started off with my energy waxing and waning, and breathing heavier. Indigestion was becoming an increasing problem. Grandma Dalton told me that my “time was near” when “you can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you can’t breathe, you can’t sit, you can’t stand”. As each week passes, I lose one of these abilities. According to the old wives tail (or the scientifically peer reviewed articles) indigestion is a sign of hair growth. If this is true, baby girl is going to come out needing a haircut! Hahahaha. The indigestion has been pretty bad at times. I have darted up from bed thinking I was going to be sick, only to have this horrible acid thick mucus stuff bubble up in the back of my mouth and up into my nasal sinus. It burned so bad! I have learned that eating past 5pm is a very bad idea. Even water will give me indigestion, it is crazy. Today, I took a half a day from work. I woke up and was still feeling very run down, with my feet still hurting and the tension in my back cranked up. As I stepped out of bed, every bone in my back popped and it still wasn’t enough relief, I needed my Chiropractic adjustment! I get so run down and tired so easy, and recuperating from too much activity takes 3 times as long as it did before I was pregnant. WHEW. 

Today I am 34 weeks and I can hardly believe it. Well, my head can’t believe it, my body sure does!

Speaking of being tired, it is almost my bed time so even though there is so much more I want to say, I will have to save it for another day. Case will get on to me if I don’t go to bed soon and get my rest. I still wanted to talk about my first “Newborn Care” class at Crestwood hospital and all the cool stuff I learned. I also felt a tiny little 1.5 inch foot today! First time I have felt an appendage. I can pin point Charlotte’s head, and her back/butt, but until now, I had no clue what movements were hands and feets! SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!  I guess that will be on my next post. Night night!

Daddy's strange behavior...

Sunday April 8^th 2012,

24 weeks 5 days,  I am surprised I remembered. At this point I just know that I STILL can’t have my wine.

So, long time no see….School is in session and while my course is not horribly demanding, it is taking up many of my mental gears just KNOWING that I have it looming over my head. I think about it at least every day, it is a source for anxiety, as if there wasn’t enough of that already. I can’t WAIT until this semester is over. 

Highlights that I should catch up on…..last prenatal visit went well. Case went with me, and I was just beaming having him at my side. I think it is a pride thing when your husband shows up to these visits, “Soooo, how many visits did your husband go to…..”.  As a scientist I look at it like this, the amount he cares is proportional to the number of prenatal visits he is willing to endure.  Personally I think you are doing awesome to get them to show up to 2, the 2 required ultrasound visits. Right now, we are already up to 2 and planning visit #3 (3D Ultrasound not required, out of pocket expense). I am stoked. I was just so happy he went with me last time, it made my day. I didn’t even require him to go, he went on his own accord! I was just shocked and amazed, and proud to have his love and support. It really does mean a lot. The rest of the visit went well. I had only gained 2 lbs over 5 weeks (which is the least amount I have gained thus far). Charlotte’s heartrate was 161, and she was active. BOY is she active. Case felt her move for the first time last night, the look on his face was priceless. Pretty much any moment I stop to settle down, she starts moving. She also moves a lot after I have eaten, and for some reason, when I shower. 

With only 2 weeks left in my second trimester, things are getting close. The extra room in our home that once housed all the crap that I have been hanging onto and wanting to keep for various reasons, is getting cleaned out and ready for Charlotte. Some things are getting relocated; most of the items are getting sold or given away. It is very common and almost……. traditional, to paint the nursery.  Most parents I know have put some (at least *some*) effort into the nursery room decorations. Sadly I am not a home decorator. Currently the disagreement on the Dalton table is painting the nursery. Now, I am a very…..level headed girl, and one of the reason I married my husband was because he too was very reasonable. I am not the one insisting we paint Charlotte’s room; Case is INSISTING we paint the nursery. My big 6’7 burly husband is throwing a fit to go buy pink paint and paint his little girl’s room. This may not seem to odd to most people who don’t know my husband, but if you do, you know that he is not a painter. As a matter of fact, I can’t even twist his arm into performing general home maintenance.  I have one sink that doesn’t work, a hole in the wall, a leaking hot water heater, the front porch that needs a coat of paint, bushes that need cutting back, garage cleaned out, 2 broken garage doors, the list goes on……and he is having a fit to paint a room that is already painted a nice cream color. It isn’t like this room NEEDS paint, it looks fine! This is out of character for him and about the least reasonable thing (well, wait, maybe I should take that back. He has this Jeep thing but that is another story) he has ever suggested doing. I know this is a common thing for parents to do, but to each their own, it isn’t something I would do on my own. I just see no need to paint a room for an infant that can’t see colors that well. What if she doesn’t like the color when she is old enough to decide on her own? If she colors on the walls with markers, we will just have to do it again. If we pick some gender specific color, what if the next child is a different gender? It just seems like a lot of wasted effort to me. Then one day when we move, we will have to paint it AGAIN, because who is going to want a pastel room?  I honestly don’t get it.

 In marriage I learned to pick and choose my arguments, and painting a room is not an argument worth fighting over. For whatever strange reason, Case feels very strongly about this, and I respect that. Arguing over whether or not to paint a room is rather silly and not worth the fight, so I have put my bull horns back in their little case for another day.  Now that I have got over his insistence, I think it is sweet and cute. I have been working hard on cleaning out the room and getting rid of things so that he will have plenty of time to paint her room.  I have been thinking about a color that would go well with Charlotte’s pink room accessories (passed down form dear old mom! Hahah) and I think I like a very very very light green. Like Easter egg green or lighter. That would also work well if the next child is a boy. Mom, Momma June, and Momma Mel have all agreed to purchase the furniture, so those should be rolling in the door sometime here soon. I want to have her room ready for the furniture to go in, so I had better go hop back to it. Anyone need a red couch? Dehumidifier? I have a stack of purses and dresses…..  The things we do, right! heheheheh  <3 my cute little family!

There is a human, ALIVE in my tummy, clawing and kicking me.

19 weeks 4 days….

Actually if you add in the 3 days “ahead of schedule” growth of the baby, then REALLY I am 20 weeks today. THANK GOD I AM HALF WAY DONE! I can’t wait to meet my baby.

I hate that I am just now posting an update about my last prenatal visit, but all these totally unimportant things, like Grad. SCHOOL, keep getting in the way of my nesting. Lol 

The evening before my prenatal appointment was my parent’s 31^st wedding anniversary. Case and I met them for dinner, and we were all a buzz talking about the next day’s appointment.  Boy or Girl? I was feeling boy, so was my mom . Case was guessing girl. My dad had an advantage, he consulted with the “Great Oz” (Grandma Gibbs) who has so many grandchildren and great-grandkids, I don’t see how she keeps count. I honestly have so many cousins on that side of my family that cutting out sending Birthday cards significantly reduced my yearly budget. LOL.  Daddy was going with boy, until the Great Oz was insistent I was carrying a baby girl. The Great Oz has been wrong in the gender predictions less than a handful of times, pretty amazing considering Grandma has been predicting pregnancies for YEARS now. I wonder how she does it! Everyone had their own reasons for their guesstimates and it appeared we were pretty much split down the middle, 50/50. SOMEONE was going to be correct. 

That night, I could hardly sleep. I honestly don’t care if my baby is a boy, a girl, or mixed gendered. My baby’s gender has no effect on my love. To be honest, I would have these weird emotions and sometimes anger that people would ask what gender I thought I may be carrying; or which gender would I rather have first. This isn’t something that should stir my emotions…..I found it odd that this question bothered me. I am a strange bird, so for whatever crazy reason, every now and again, this question would hit me the wrong way. Times like these, I like to blame the pregnancy hormones. Why does it even matter “WHAT” my baby is…..it doesn’t. J Why is my baby already being “identified” as one thing or another; more importantly, why is it of any concern, it is a BABY. My heart would break as I thought about how difficult the simple question of “Are you having a boy or a girl” must be for parents of mixed gendered children. What if you really don’t know which gender your child is, how do you even respond to such an innocent question?  In due time, it will work out, but as a baby, the only thing it needs is care and love. Love is all that matters in a baby’s life, and not having pink frilly panties, or blue booties. I got a few strange looks from people when I would get tired of being asked which gender I wanted, and I would respond that “I honestly don’t care; boy, girl, or mixed gendered. My husband and I will love our baby the same no matter what, we are hoping for a healthy child.”

Ultrasounds have been known to be wrong, but as our ultrasound technician said, “You have a beautiful textbook photo of a little girl. These are excellent photos”. Looks like Case and I are going to be the parents of a baby girl! J More importantly, it appears that the baby is developing as it should be and mom and baby are healthy and doing fine. The baby was measuring just a few days early, so that was news that made me happy. The easiest decision for Case and I was baby names. We had a name picked out for either gender, and for our little girl, we decided on Charlotte Gene. Sadly, Case and I have been having a harder time deciding on a “new to us” car than what we should name our 1^st child! Hahahahahaha. It has amazed me how much closer Case and I have become to Charlotte after seeing her on the U/S photos, feeling her move in my tummy, and giving her a name. It is amazing how in just a few weeks, our baby has went from a tiny bean looking thing on an U/S photo, to a tiny human cocooned in my tummy. At this point, she is basically fully formed, and is just hanging out putting on weight. Case and I will rub my tummy when we want to feel close to her, and I have even been found guilty of talking to my own stomach. God, pregnancy makes you do some very strange things! LOL.  After experiencing pregnancy (at least up until this half way point) it really makes me sad for the beautiful and precious lives that will never be had because they were terminated and never given a chance to move, kick, and enjoy life. I now keep these terminated babies in my daily thoughts and prayers. It really breaks my heart. Oh god, another weird hormone thing…..here come my water works. WHY AM I CRYING! 

Charlotte’s movements have been getting stronger by the day. In just a few more weeks, she will be packing a mean punch. What started off feeling like tiny muscle spasms now feel like my tummy has a mind of its own (because well, it does. LOL) and I have no control over when I am going to feel a funny twitch/flutter. I love them, they are like little messages that say “Hey mom, just in here hanging out and wanted to say HI. Please send more strawberry short cake, love ya, thanks.”

Now that our baby has a name, the reality of being parents is starting to set in. Case and I are so excited, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit to being a little scared. I am going to be responsible for the upbringing of another human’s life. It is my job to protect, love, and teach my child about life. What do I even do? How do I not warp my kid?  I do my best to try and not get overwhelmed with the “OH GOD don’t screw up” and remind myself to just take it one day at a time, but I have my moments.  

Right now, Charlotte is hinting around that it is time to hit the hay. She (and myself) have hit a growth spurt here lately (as evident from my obvious protruding belly) and by her strength. I can tell when she is working hard growing, I get tired really easily. I already had one nap today, and I think I could sleep for 100 more hours! 

Like Luda says, “drop bows, drop bows, throw dem bows”

If you don’t know  Luda’s “Southern Hospitality” you should!  At least the first 30 seconds. Lyrical genius.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QWQVm9J5DM

18 weeks 1 day.

In less than one week, Case and I find out if we are having a little boy or a little girl. We are really not picky, and are just hopeful that our child is healthy and happy. Whatever little blessing is bestowed upon us, is the child that is right for us.

So……I *think* I took a ‘bow to the bladder the other day. I am pretty sure I would have went on believing that I had the world’s most annoying unproductive gas, had some kind ladies not told me “At 18 weeks along, have you felt your baby move yet?” I would have remained oblivious that such events could even happen before the month of “oh my God am I really going to get bigger” comes along and I can physically see my belly rolling from one side to the other. I have never had a baby in my tummy before, I don’t know what to expect, and I sure didn’t know that at a mere 4 months along, I would feel my baby’s head, shoulders, knees, and toes jabbing at me.

Dear one day hopeful Moms, file this under “crap other women tell you about pregnancy that is a bunch of BS”. Regarding what to expect to feel of my baby’s first movements, other women told me that it will feel like, “a small flock of beautiful Monarch butterflies, fluttering around your precious little buttercup garden of pregnancy bliss”.  Yea……expect women to basically tell you the same thing. Naturally, being a first time mom, that sounded like the most wonderful and beautiful moment of my life. What could possibly trump my belly feeling like a beautiful garden of singing angels with flutterbyes floating from buttercup to buttercup. I literally heard this music in my head just thinking about the possibility.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEulyxBCA6c . REAL FLUTTERBYES IN MY BELLY…… glorious and I could NOT wait!

 Boy was I ever disappointed. Butterflies were not exactly the feeling I had when I first felt my baby move. Let’s just say it was far from the glamorous feeling I was expecting. For me, it felt like a cross between unproductive gas and a muscle spasm. Unlike gas, once the immediate feeling of pressure, which lasted literally like 2 seconds, passed, there was no lingering “bloated gas feeling”. That was basically how I knew that it wasn’t gas and that it was my baby. It was really closer to the feeling of a muscle spasm, except one doesn’t usually get strange random muscle spasms in their midsections of their tummy. The best description I got from a dear friend of mine, and this was the most accurate depiction anyone has described to me yet;  it is that same feeling when you go fishing and the fish takes your bait. You know the feeling, your pole and line “pops” a few times, and as soon as you are able to realize that you just got had by the fish, your mind and reflexes lag. That is basically how it felt. The fish took my bait and by the time he was off my line and gobbling down my cricket, I was left going, “hey wait a min, I think it just ran off with my bait.” Just like fishing, I am still hanging out, getting my bait taken on a regular and a little more predictable basis now, waiting for the “big hit”. Looks like I have about 5 more months at this pond before I get to real in my big catch.  

Our Babymoon

I am now well into the throws of pregnancy…..

How do I know? It isn’t because of the fact that I am obviously pregnant and not just “thick”. It isn’t because FINIALLY strangers are confident in my condition enough to walk right up to me and ask how the pregnancy is going. Nope……..It is because I have finally lost count of how many months, weeks, and days I have been in this condition; and for breakfast this morning, I ate like a 12 year old during school lunch hour. I ate reheated frozen pizza and ranch dressing and thought it was the best food ever invented.  Yep….. pizza and ranch dressing, that is disgusting, why am I eating it? Last night it was Blueberry pie at 11pm. Thank god that 1^st trimester of sickness is over. I didn’t even realize it until I was doing my post vacation grocery shopping, where I impulse purchased over $120 worth of food. Canned beef spaghetti, LOOKS DELISH. Canned collard greens, divine. Off brand cheap tuna helper, YES PLEASE. Pickle loaf, never touched the stuff but that looks awesome! This packaged meat is past its purchase date, but it looks yummy…think I can still eat it? ROFL…….I went from sick to hungry girl, overnight. I still hate chicken and turkey.

Seriously though, I think I am 17 weeks, 4 days.

It has been a while since my last post, so I apologize to anyone who may have been board enough to actually keep up with me and Lil Bean. I do enjoy entertaining people so I have missed you, and hope you will continue to check out my random musings about my 1^st time pregnancy. Case and I have returned from his vacation (notice I said “his” vacation) J I really enjoyed watching his race and am so proud of him for all of his hard work to accomplish a very difficult goal. He is amazing and is already turning out to be an awesome Dad. The Mojave Desert is not really my thing. It is dusty, and I can’t grow a garden there. Actually, NOTHING grows there except for Joshua trees, which I don’t recall ever eating so it is useless to me. Arizona was a nice place to visit, but not my kind of place to live. The friends that Case and I visited in Phoenix were great hosts and made us feel so comfortable. They were the very definition of “Southern Hospitality”. I really liked Sedona AZ, and in particular, Rock Springs Café. That little restaurant/saloon reminded me so much of home. It was a small mom and pop business, known worldwide for their pies. http://rockspringscafe.com/ Everyone there was at least 10lbs overweight and friendly; just like home! J It was a nice visit, but I missed home. Arizona just doesn’t have what Alabama does, my family.

 I love my Southern Heritage. It is hard to say that and have people who are not from the south understand what you mean. The South has a blemished history which was part of the overall culture of our country 100’s of years ago. Everyone was guilty of racism and unequal rights, not just the people who lived in the South. Hollywood has skewed our history toward that of the “Rich White Plantation” owner. Those people were very few and far between. Most Plantation owners treated their slaves well, after all they paid a lot of money for that person’s ability to do work, and they sure as heck didn’t want a lot of sickness, death, or emotional drama. Of course that isn’t going to be a very interesting movie now is it? And it is true that not all owners were as nice, just like there are some not to nice people today. 99% of people, Black, White, Indian, ect. were just dirt poor. The southern side of my family was sharecroppers, and I had to do some serious digging at Ancestory.com just to find a single person that was of some notability with even a little bit of money. (John Balch who was the owner and builder of one of the oldest, still standing, wooden homes in America. Located somewhere in Mass. Apparently he was a pilgrim.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Balch_House .  Poor Southern sharecroppers had to make do with what they had, because they didn’t own anything. I am proud of the portion of my Southern Heritage that honors hard work, independence, and ingenuity out of necessity. I am not a big Hank Williams Jr. fan, but he most defiantly hit the nail on the head in his song, “Country Boy Can Survive”.  This goes for us “Country Girls” too. J In my young single days, I snubbed dates with boys who couldn’t drive a tractor. Hey, push comes to shove; a girl has to eat somehow so I need to know what your physical work capabilities are. Advanced Computer programming is great, but can you take care of me and a family with just your hands? No? Sorry time for me to move on. Of course this is me we are talking about, and I have been called strange. I think I am just old fashion myself. Speaking of garden, this Wednesday is Ash Wednesday and time to start my seedlings for the spring and for my maternity photos. I need to get Case out to the field to disc it up, and start getting it ready for spring. WOW, I have totally rambled off course and by this time, have probably offended most of humanity. …….. oh yea…. I am pregnant. I almost forgot…….I wonder if I have any blueberry pie left.  J

....and so we start Trimester 2

14 weeks, 1 day : WOO HOOO officially out of Tri 1 and working on Tri 2. I am over 33.3% done! (thank god).

01/25/12

Mood – sentimental, and relaxed. The endorphins from DanceTrance are still hanging with me….ahhhh feel so good.

Symptoms – Indigestion, Heart burn, fatigue and swelling in my feet. Feeling much than I did in Trimester 1, but still not as good as my prepregnancy self.

Useless Ramblings -WHEW life has been so busy, I have hardly had the time to think about the thing growing in my belly.  I have been doing my best to support Case and help him get ready for his race in S. Cali. This has defiantly been a big goal for him, and I couldn’t be more proud. I remember how much he helped and supported me when I was working on my goal of competing in the Miss Alabama USA competition, large goals like this take months and years of preparations and he has been working so hard every single night for MONTHS to get ready. It has literally turned into a second job for him, working nearly everynight of week from 6-10pm. I am so proud of Case’s focus and determination. Not everyone has the gumption and determination to stick to a goal for so long or to tackle one so large. My baby has a good hardworking and determined daddy, much like it’s momma. J

School started back, so you will hear a little less from me. Sad. But….I gotta do what I gotta do. I need to get this masters done ASAP, so I have more time with the little beany, Case, and my family. I will be better for the sacrifices I make now, but man….it sure doesn’t make things easy. Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, my plan is to finish up this MBA program before kid #2 gets cranked out.  Like all goals, I will rely heavily on the love and support of Case, my family and friends. Without the love and support from my people, my “work, life, school” balance would send me to the nut house. I owe a lot to the people around me that support me, I can’t thank everyone enough. Told you I was in a sentimental mood. J

On a similar note, I have been overwhelmed with love and attention from friends and family.  I have already been showered with gifts, compliments, love, support and most valuable….encouragement. Pregnancy is hard, I can use all the wonderful encouragement I can get. Friends and family surprise me with small favors or little gifts every week! I dare to even say that I have friends and family that are more excited than I am. LOL. I already have more baby stuff than I do room to store it in. J You guys are all so wonderful, I don’t expect a thing from anyone, really…..but I do appreciate it, the gesture means a lot to me and I feel very loved and blessed. Not sure what I did to deserve such wonderful people around me for love and support, but man……am I glad you are here. J Thank you so much.

My next appointment is Feb. 1^st. I hope all continues to go well. In the meantime, I will chug along helping Case get things in order for his trip, and plugging away at my course work. I will post a quick update after my next appointment.