So……Last night was the first time that Charlotte’s movements
had awoken me from sleep. It was about 4am, and she had the hiccups. How can
something so small have the worlds most powerful hiccups? I swear my entire body was shaking from HER
hiccups! Even in my groggy state, I noticed that her hiccups were not where I
had normally felt them before. I was used to her tiny hiccups being felt just
above my pelvic bone (I am carrying her very low) but last night, her hiccups
were on my right side. MY RIGHT SIDE, WHY ARE THEY THERE?!?!? I thought we were
locked and loaded in the head down position and NOW, I am constantly changing
sitting/laying positions to dodge her kicks to my hip bones. I am disappointed.
I was hoping she was going to STAY head down and make life easy for Mommy. Who
was I fooling, a girl, making up her mind and being easy going…. HA. It is
getting a little late in the game to change the plans now. We have got to get
moving into our starting position baby girl. Sideways in Mommy’s belly is not
good preparation for “Labor” Day. Maybe she is trying to help me by pushing my
hips even farther apart. hahaaha
-sigh- oh well.
Mommy is not very comfortable with baby girl being in this
sideways position….not at all. She is putting pressure on various bones and
organs which is leading to some uncomfortable feelings and light cramping. She
will stretch out and I can feel her head pushing against my right hip bone. She
LOVES to do this too, and to be honest, while I love feeling her move, this is
not the most easy feeling in the world, it is a very….strange feeling. Lying
sideways, she feels SO much heavier than she did when she was head down. I feel
like I am carrying around a 15lb bowling ball just above my pubic bone and
between my hips. Because of this heavy sensation, I am walking even funnier
than I did before, and the pressure on my lower back makes it feel weak in just
a few steps.
Did I mention I was uncomfortable? Hahaha
Sleeping is pretty rough too. I can usually get in a few
hours before getting up every hour to evacuate the bladder. I don’t seem to be
having too much of an issue with lack of sleep, although I do get worn out
quicker during the day, I think that is mostly just from the added stress on my
entire body. My biggest issue is body pain when I wake up. This has to be what
it feels like to be 80. My back, hands, legs, neck and feet all hurt, and I
haven’t even gotten out of bed. Thank god for my Chiropractor because without
him, I would have cried “UNCLE” weeks ago. Just stepping out of bed and putting
both feet on the floor, cracks my back. I feel like I have been in a fight all
night long. Then I worry that I might have hurt Charlotte in my sleep. I am not
sure why I am so paranoid about this, but I am. EVERY morning I worry until I
feel her first movement for the day. I have been known to pat and shake my
belly, just to make sure she is still moving and alive. I don’t know what I
could possibly do to hurt her in my sleep, but I get paranoid about it. The
nightmares at night are really graphic and frightening too.
Man, I am uncomfortable.
“PRACTICE YOUR KEGALS” really…. Are you serious? Like, I
have to actually sit around and think, oh must be time to flex my “who ha”
muscles. This is a cute thing to do when
you first find out you are pregnant, “Look I am preparing for the big day”, now
it is a different story. I no longer
have to remind myself to “flex and hold”, baby girl does the reminding for me. Isn’t that great?!?! “BLAM” kick to the
bladder. “HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT…….,
whew. Crisis averted”. “BLAM” kicked
again, “Eeeek hold it hold it hold it ……….whew, crisis averted”. This happens
at least 50 times a day. Charlotte is QUITE the active little uterine ninja.
But for all this uncomfortableness, feeling ugly, body pain,
cramping, I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world and would gladly endure it
all over again for my darling little girl. These next few weeks are going to be
the longest of my life. I cannot wait to hold my baby girl in my arms (and not
share real estate in my belly hhahah) see her face, watch her breath, smile,
look back at me, eat, and sleep. I get to hold her as she moves (without
getting paranoid that she is going to punch THROUGH my belly). I get to see the
look on my husband’s face as he holds his darling daughter, a little bitty life
and soul that he and I created and I incubated. I can’t wait to hear him coo in
her ear and smile in her face, bounce on his knee, and walk on top of his feet.
I have a new respect for expecting
mothers, well all mothers really, and even mom’s that didn’t get to hold their
darlings in their arms before they passed. Creating life is the most amazing miracle
ever. Inside my belly is another living soul, and personality, and I already
love her to pieces, forever, no matter what.
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