Little Ragamuffin

10 weeks, 2 days

To whoever were the people that suggest I go to Burlington Coat Factory, awesome suggestion. Their prices are reasonable with lots of choices. At the Factory, I picked up a pair of maternity draws (as we say here in our Southern vernacular) and pair of maternity pants, and a Boppy wedge for our trip coming up. My logic for the Boppy Wedge purchase was that it would be smaller and easier to pack than a big ‘ol body pillow. Burlington Coat Factory further won me over, when the girl checking me out looks at me (obviously I was looking like a tired rag-a-muffin, did you know that a Ragamuffin is actually a really pretty cat…now you do. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragamuffin_(cat) )……I have digressed…..ANYWAYS, the girl at the checkout looks at me and says, “Pregnancy is so uncomfortable”. BAM, BINGO, and YES MA’AM!!! FINIALLY someone admits it.  I love you Burlington Coat Factory girl working the checkout counter. I shall return to your store. All you ladies out there that get to scoot by with these comfortable pregnancies; you are the ones who always advise, (in sarcastic high pitched tone of voice) “Enjoy your pregnancy”.  Life is different when you have only 3 measly inches of space between your hip bones and your rib cage. I have no where to go but straight OUT!  I have enjoyed the last 3 months about as much as I would have enjoyed a 3 month long hangover. NOW, does this mean that I am a horrible mother…..NO….I just don’t care for these past few months. I HAVE BEEN TOLD that they will pass…..you people had better be right. With all that said, I will seem more human and motherly when I say that I would gladly spend the next 6 months in misery again, just to hear my baby’s heartbeat. J Awwwwww cute huh J  it is a moving and life changing sound……like going to heaven yourself and seeing everyone you love again.  If you are not a mother, think about how happy and amazing that would be……yea, the heartbeat is that kind of amazing. It is the shiz nit.

I am in the maternity pants. OH MY GOD I am wearing MATERNITY PANTS. At first I thought I was just being a bloated fatty, until I realized that my legs and thighs (where I usually put on weight) were the same size, but all of my current pants are slicing me into 2 halves. Being one that plans ahead, I had maternity clothing on hand just for this moment in life where I couldn’t stand the regular britches (my southern belle comes out again). I picked up a pair of below the belly maternity jeans at the thrift store for $3.50. Nice deal. I tried them on and they fit like a charm. I no longer look like Fatty McFatterson, I actually look more like an expectant mom! J This has done wonders for the self-confidence, I felt so horrible and ugly before. I feel much prettier now. Well as pretty as maternity pants can afford me to be......that should tell you how bad and ugly I felt BEFORE. LOL. At least I am in a pair of blue jeans again.

Time for the nightly dosage of Maalox then hit the hay……we will see how this Boppy wedgie (hehehehehehe) thing works out.

Why Potato Chips and French Fries are PERFECT pregnancy food

10 weeks, 1 day (my baby has tiny footprints now)

Before I give you a multitude of reason why potato chips and French fries are perfect foods for pregnant mothers, let me start with the list of foods that you should avoid.

-Soft and Moldy Cheeses (does Blue Cheese dressing count?) giving up my blue cheese on wheat thins was a horrible sacrifice for me. Is mold bad for babies?

-Hot dogs and Sausages or any other highly processed meat foods (such as Summer sausages, Spam, Potted Meat, ect.) I am assuming too many Nitrates? Forget pepperoni pizza…great.

-No deli meats (forget a ham and cheese sandwich) Who knew that it was so easy to get food poisoning from meats that have found their way through a meat slicer. Babies and food poisoning do not mix.

-Meats that could possibly be undercooked, or that are severed undercooked. Nix the med. Rare steak, and you can forget about all forms of chicken and pork UNLESS you KNOW FOR SURE they are cooked to a burned up crisp.

-Ready to eat cold seafood, raw sushi and shellfish- bye bye little scrimpies and cocktail sauce, I will miss you.

-Smoked or unpasteurized seafoods (ok who really eats that…)

-Tuna or other large fish that eats on smaller fish (mercury exposure I assume?) No more than 1 can of Tuna per week. Really you are KILLING my protein intake here…….

-Any dish with raw or undercooked eggs (well there goes my favorite….half done boiled eggs with the liquid center. Also don’t forget that this includes ice cream dishes and raw cookie and cake batter. Don’t lick the bowl. This also elimates Mayo, Eggnog, Hollandaise sauce, Chocolate Moose’s, and Caesar salad dressings…. Who knew right…

-Do not eat prepared salads from the deli, or bag salads or raw sprouts….again, e.coli and other forms of food poisioning.

-Buffett or picnic style food that has set out for more than 2 hours

-Stuffing cooked inside of a bird

-Obviously Alcohol

-Caffeine – the obvious offender here is coffee and coffee products, but don’t forget about hidden caffeine such as in sodas and chocolate.

The really nit picky mothers say………

-Soy protein (increases Estrogen levels, maybe not the best idea if you happen to be carrying a boy) This would include all forms of my beloved fake meat products such as Boca burgers and protein shakes.

-Large quantities of Vitamin A (causes Birth defects) Liver….thank god I don’t like fried chicken livers.

-Herbal teas

-Unpasteurized milk and juices. Most of us don’t have cows in our back yards for fresh milk every day, but you may own a home Juicer….

-Unwashed Fruits and Veggies….looks like you have just switched to organic, enjoy the jump in $$$.

-Sugar substitute

-Too much real sugar

-Anything too spicy or flavored with too many spices (heartburn, not necessarily bad for baby, just really uncomfortable for mom)

-I also heard rumors of avoiding Cows milk, peanuts, and no lemon squeezed in your water once you are breastfeeding……..not sure about those precautions yet, I haven’t researched them.

That covers most of the major foods to avoid along with some of the more picky ones. If you are anything like me, you haven’t really had any food cravings, but TONS of food aversions. Add to this list, whatever food aversions you may be having…… I am heartbroken that some of my favorite foods are now food aversions. I used to love Brussels sprouts, steamed broccoli, and raw carrots; now those food are way too bitter for me to eat. My biggest food aversion has been any Foul. I can NOT tolerate Turkey or Chicken, unless it is cleverly disguised. Just typing the words “White Meat Boiled Chicken Breast” makes me shutter with nausea. I did manage a few boneless buffalo wings the other day, so maybe this food aversion thing is headed out the door.

This brings me to the title of this entry,” potato chips and French fries are prefect pregnancy foods”. Potato chips and Fries are not overly spiced and therefor will not give you heartburn. They are cool if you leave them out for hours. You won’t get some kind of strange potato poison from them. They do not cause birth defects. They are perfect when all other foods make you want to hurl your guts up. They are not bitter. They are not overly filling (being pregnant and too full is not a good mix either).They don’t have strange hormones, pesticides, or herbicides sprayed on them. You can’t get e. coli or mercury poisoning from them. See…..they are perfect pregnancy food! J lol

Too bad I have limited myself to two serving a week. L I had one of them today.

Baby it's cold outside - Where are my insulated maternity coveralls?

Obviously maternity wear was designed by men. Actually, now that I think about it, ALL industrial work wear is designed by men. If you would like a Ladies “Manager” style steel toed safety boot, you will find the end of the interwebs before you find the shoe you are looking for. The same can be said for maternity wear. By no means am I out working everyday digging ditches for a living, but I imagine some lady out there is.

 My husband and I have very active hobbies that are hard on our clothes. Our hobbies don’t stop just because it is now cold outside. Case and I love camping, and going on 4x4 Jeep trail rides. We enjoy being outside on the farm, really just piddlin’ around; fishing, target shooting, or whatever else we can get into. I currently have 3 hens, but would love to live on a place with more land so I could have a small hobby farm of livestock. We are often working in the yard of our families, or getting the garden ready for the next season (in the winter). When I first met Case, I was ill prepared with quality outdoor work wear. Case showed me the light in the wonders of a good moisture wicking base layer, and insulated coveralls (or bib overalls). Camping was no fun before my ugly insulated Wal-Mart hunting section bib overalls. I was so naive to think that jeans would keep me warm in freezing temperatures! I now sport insulated boots (down to -30, overkill but hey, they WILL stay warm), wool blend hiking socks, insulated overalls, Under Armor base layers, and my Carhartt jacket (worth its weight in gold).

Case and I have a big camping/4x4 trip coming up, and it is going to be a cold one. Knowing I am expecting, I am not going to fit in my usual insulated bib coveralls, so I naturally assumed that all of the wonderfully progressive women before me have already paved the way for industrious maternity wear. I own a set of pink tools (cliché, but the pink does work to keep my husband out of my tool box. He wouldn’t be caught dead with a pink screwdriver) and pink Mechanix’s gloves for general labor around the house, trail, or campsite. While I own none, you can even purchase pink camo, Mossy Oak makes a line of lingerie, and bikinis; OBVIOUSLY they make maternity wear. I mean….their lingerie got you pregnant in the first place, might as well follow it up with maternity wear. Just like ladies safety shoes, BOY WAS I WRONG.

According to maternity manufactures (and of course this is pushed by market demand) expectant mothers only hold 2 types of jobs. Either you work in some kind of corporate setting, or you are a nurse. WOW we have went back to 1930 haven’t we. You can either be a secretary, teacher, or nurse; that is your career choices ladies.  It is probably a bad idea for an expectant mother to be out digging ditches by hand, but I know there is a woman out there who is running a Bobcat, driving a John Deere, or just directing traffic for the highway workers. Just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you can’t walk outside and be warm. Do expectant mothers have to quit hunting, fishing, farming, tending to livestock, camping, hiking, or just chilling it outside in the snowy weather?? According to the makers of maternity wear, I guess so.

Where is the maternity Carhartt coveralls, maternity UnderArmor, maternity Dickies work pants, NorthFace’s maternity line, or maternity Nike running shorts (with the built in drahhhws, lol)

Like the generations of women before me, I will have to resort to my husband’s clothing. No specialty designed for my body shape, work wear for me. This brings up another pet peeve, running shorts. The few I have found on the interwebs are very expensive and so I am hesitant to purchase them! Obviously expectant mothers ONLY do yoga after their corporate or nursing jobs. If anyone finds a line of Mossy Oak, Carhartt, Dickies, Under Armor, Mountain Hardware, Nike, or Reebok maternity wear…. Please let me know. J

When I can figure out how to post this in my "About ME" section, I will.....

I am an only child (and only Grandchild on one side of my family) and I am expecting. I have no clue what I am doing; I am green as a gourd. I have no experience with children, so everything about being a 1^st time mom is a new and neat experience to me. I am a Southern Belle at heart, and I love everything about my Southern Appalachian heritage; expect my musings to be in my vernacular. I am a scientist, so this writing thing does not come easy to me, I am still learning so cut me just a little slack.

I have a big warm heart, I am close to my family, and I am very down to earth. I have been told I am an odd bird at times, but that is part of what makes me special and interesting to the friends and family who love me.  I am who I am, and those who love me don’t care, and those that really care, don’t love me.

I started this blog to concentrate all of the “Mommy and Baby” ramblings in one location. Some of my friends and family want hourly status updates on my belly, (if you are my dad you want a helmet mounted camera pointed at my belly streaming live video 24/7. Hahaha) other’s do not wish to be flooded with status updates about my thoughts and feelings. The blog makes for a wonderful “optional” read for anyone, (I can’t imagine who, but….whatever) who may be interested. The blog’s name was coined by my husband. I have been unusually cold, and my sweet husband was tucking me in bed, piling all 7 blankets on top of me for warmth, when he called me “The Princess and the Pea”.  I hope you all enjoy a glimpse of the journey of a new mom, who has no clue what in the heck is going on. J